nia

I would think the photos in our blog make it evident (if you didn't already know) that our dog has long played a huge role in our world. We've never forgotten that she is a dog and not a person, but we have fully enjoyed letting her be our great companion.

She died on Sunday. We're pretty heartbroken.

If you look back at some photos, you can see we went through quite a production to bring her here with us to Germany. I imagine for some people it's easy to wonder why - why all that hassle for a dog? And an aging dog at that. I have so many thoughts... but I think I'll tell you a little about her, and then maybe it will make a more sense.

I did a one-year Masters Degree program in Boston 9 years ago. The program was demanding and I was lonely. My favorite break from paper writing in the spring was researching dog breeds and dreaming about getting a dog someday. I actually sat in a group with my course cohorts and told some visitors one day that my goal after finishing this program was to get to a place in life where I could have a dog. Jaws dropped a bit, as this was Harvard and the stated goals of my colleagues to do doctoral work, research, establish new programs and such were far more "appropriate". Somehow I just couldn't help but say exactly what I felt. I did explain a bit more that it reflected having passed through a challenging stretch of time personally and a longing for some sense of being established (they were a little less shocked, but still not impressed).


So when I decided to job hunt from my parents' home the following summer, I asked if I could get a puppy. Maybe it's backwards to get a dog before you have a job and a place to live, but I was pretty convinced that if I kept waiting for the perfect set of circumstances, I'd never get a dog. It was about a recurring theme for me - taking action in my own life instead of playing victim to it.

I named her Nia in response to that year too. My internship was in an afro-centric youth program, and there I learned several Swahili words and their meanings. Nia means purpose. Somehow something in me is wired to get distracted or to feel a little lost in the grand picture of life. I don't really understand why. I never question the Lord's presence in my life or His faithfulness. I trust Him. But I think my brain just generates way too many ideas and possibilities, is so filled with this kind of inarticulateable undercurrent that drives me towards believing that life is supposed to be extraordinary and there's amazing potential all over the place, that I get a bit indecisive out of fear of seeing any of the possibilities die. Okay, a lot indecisive. I just know I end up feeling a bit lost. I named her Nia to remind myself that no matter what I feel, I am not without purpose; the Lord always has a purpose and intention with my life. And I'm not alone. The companionship of this dog was to be a reminder to me of the steady presence of the Lord and his purpose. Maybe that's an awful lot of theology to pin onto a dog. :)


Nevertheless, I found an ad online for puppies that would be ready by the end of the semester. My dad checked them out for me in advance, and I remember walking home the day I had told my dad to go ahead and put down my deposit on Nia. Anxiety - this big wave of fear of the commitment I had just made. 10 years is a long time, right? Maybe not really so long after all. I certainly would never have imagined on that day where I would be when her life was done.

John and I started dating while she was still a puppy. He joked that it was like dating somebody with a kid - always having to plan around letting her out and feeding her. Nevertheless, he was smitten with her too.


I worked hard to train her, knowing that what was cute in a 20lb puppy would not be cute in a 100lb dog. She was going to be stronger than me; I needed to teach her who was in charge before then. When John and I got married, she wasn't quite sure he was the boss - so we put her through a couple of weeks of "alpha bootcamp." It did the trick, and she respected/adored him as the pack leader ever after - which makes me think of some of the things we learned from her. She trusted us - completely. And all she ever really needed and wanted to be reassured - or even just to be content - was to be with us. The way she sacked out completely and snored at night when we all went to bed...total confidence that the alpha was on duty and she was safe. I couldn't help but think of the spiritual parallels, knowing I could feel just as safe in the presence of the Lord.



So much personality - and quirkiness - to that dog! She won lots of people over pretty quickly. We actually met a few people who knew of us because of her - they had seen her in action at our place while we had a dog sitter. "Oh you're the ones who have Nia!" She had dazzled them with retrieving various toys by name - which for her was totally worth it because she got so much love and attention. She was terrified of water and metal grates on the ground, carefully treading around manhole covers, utility covers and puddles. As a small puppy playing with my 4 yr-old brother, she paced herself to only run just fast enough to make games with him fun. We were amazed to watch her instinct as a herder when some friends came to visit with lambs -- and when she decided she needed to separate certain dogs away from others when she had more than one playmate. So smart. So sweet. So eager to please. And such a companion...following me from room to room, reaching up to nudge my hand from time to time on walks, beside herself with joy to greet us when we came home - even if we'd only been gone 10 minutes. She remembered anyone she ever met, making them feel like a million bucks when she greeted them. A number of people let us know they'd love to take her if we couldn't take her to Germany. She loved kids and kitties - bathing them both in kisses they weren't so sure about.





Such a great dog. The apartment feels pretty empty and quiet. I miss my morning big hugs from her and the sigh after bedtime when she finally situated herself and was about to fall asleep.




So she leaves a big hole in our world. We've learned that the antidote for what weighs our hearts down in most situations is gratitude. It applies here too. It doesn't make us not miss her, but it does lighten it a bit. The night she died, as we were going to bed, exhausted and feeling the huge empty place next to the bed, John began to pray for us. He sweetly thanked the Lord that the vet had been so kind, that the Lord had made our choices about her clear and for all the years we got to enjoy her. I am grateful. The Lord gives good gifts.

a day in Freiburg

Last Saturday we where greeted with clear skies and "warmer" weather. We decided to take advantage of this time and spend the day in Freiburg.

"so much pain"

Time for a bit of an art history lesson and a story. (All you homeschooling friends, grab your kids!)

This is the Isenheim Altarpiece, painted by a man named Mathias Grünwald in about 1500. He was a German artist, and this altarpiece was painted for the chapel of a monastery in Isenheim near Colmar, France.

First off, I'll explain a couple of things that help us look at this painting. An Altarpiece is a large painting on a panel or panels that stands right behind the altar, typically in a Catholic church. What that means is that every week when people came forward to the altar to take communion, they were looking directly at whatever image was on the altarpiece. As my art history teacher used to always say, "Notice what the artist wanted people to think about right at the moment they were receiving communion." So, we have Jesus dying on the cross. Seems appropriate.

However, many altarpieces (like this one) had multiple panels that could be opened like doors so that when the doors were closed, you saw one picture and when they were opened for mass or a special service, you saw a different image. The crucifixion on this altarpiece is on the outside. That means it is the image that people saw whenever they walked into the chapel - not just during mass.

Okay, time to look a little closer. The first photo shows that there are several parts that are each separate pictures. It's easy to find more information on-line about the side and bottom pictures, but I'm going to focus on the middle part - the Crucifixion.

What do we see in the picture? Jesus dying on the cross, four other people and a lamb. One person is Mary Magdalene (kneeling) Mary the mother of Jesus (fainting in white), John the evangelist (in red, holding Mary as she faints) and John the Baptist (pointing and holding a Bible).

Some questions people ask:
Why do the people look so weird? Well, they are kind of "out of proportion " (small heads, extra long arms and legs) because German artists at the time exaggerated how things looked in order to show how people felt or to symbolize certain ideas. In this picture the exaggerations help us see how sad the people who loved Jesus were and how much pain they were in.

This isn't very accurate from the Bible, is it?
No, not really. There are parts that are accurate, but not all of it. The artist wasn't trying to make it perfectly accurate; he was trying to show us what was important about that moment in time and some of what he believes and feels about it. For example, John the Baptist is holding scriptures and pointing - which tells us about how the prophecies from the Old Testament were talking about Jesus. Grünewald also painted the words in Latin next to John the Baptist that mean, "He must increase and I must decrease" which do come straight from the Bible. Again, it helps us know that not only is Jesus who the old prophets talked about, but also who John the Baptist had been talking about.

The Lamb and the cross and the cup below are symbols too - symbols of how Jesus is the lamb that was sacrificed for us.

What's all over Jesus' skin?
This gets to my favorite part!

I have always LOVED the Isenheim altarpiece because it shows us something really wonderful (and true) that the artist understood about Christ. Jesus' skin is all marked up in this painting for a very special reason. The monastery in Isenheim was run by the Brothers of St. Anthony, and served as a hospital. The Brothers of St. Anthony were especially skilled at taking care of people with some really painful skin diseases. The people who came to the hospital sometimes looked a lot like Jesus did here - big sores all over their bodies.

So, imagine being a patient at this monastery and walking into the chapel to pray. You feel miserable and you look up and see this picture of Jesus. Not only do you see a reminder of how he suffered to save you, but you notice his skin looks like yours. You see that Jesus is someone who knows what it's like to be you! He knows what your pain feels like, and like the Bible says he is always "interceding" for us when we don't even know how to describe what we feel.
Fabulous!

Okay, now my story. They moved the Isenheim altarpiece from Isenheim to a museum in Colmar, France. Colmar is less than an hour's drive from us here in Kandern, and over Christmas break we drove to see it. Dream come true for me! It was wonderful -- though cold! I picked up a few postcards of it and took them to language class with me to show one of my classmates who was curious about the painting (I had told the class that I had gone to Colmar). The first thing she said when she saw it was, "So much pain!" Yes. Exactly. I replied, "That's why I love it. It shows Jesus as someone who knows our pain."

This is one of the things I love about great art. It speaks so powerfully about how people see and understand the world and opens up such wonderful conversations.

Questions anyone? LOL
Actually, if you have them and send them as comments, I'll do my best to answer.